


Gorgeous

by kv_panda_red



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Baking, Bisexual Female Character, Bulimia, Canon Lesbian Relationship, Dates, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Fluff, Genderbending, Graphic Depictions of Illness, Guilt, Highschool AU, Hurt/Comfort, Insecure Keith (Voltron), Insecurity, Langst, Lesbian Character, Love, Mental Health Issues, Trans Character, Trigger Warning: Eating Disorders, cafe date, date, physical comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-29
Updated: 2017-12-29
Packaged: 2019-02-23 15:40:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,813
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13193226
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kv_panda_red/pseuds/kv_panda_red
Summary: Kat and Lana had been going out for a while, but Kat can't seem to get it through her head that Lana actually thinks she's enough.





	Gorgeous

**Author's Note:**

> Lance- Lana  
> Keith- Kat  
> Shiro- Shiro (Tamaki)  
> Matt- Mattilde  
> Hunk- Honey ( Hannah)  
> Allura- Allura (still female)  
> Pidge- Pidge (trans!mtf)

Lana had always been a flirt. For as long as Kat had known her, she flirted with everyone and anyone. That’s probably why she was so surprised when the blue-eyed babe liked her back and asked her out to homecoming. Kat had been super nervous that it was going to be a one-time thing, seeing as Lana could do way better than Kat—but the next week they went on another date and then another and another. They had their first kiss on their 4th date after Lana asked if Kat wanted to make it official. They were the cutest couple in school.  
Kat had always been shy. For as long as she could remember, she was always nervous to approach people that interested her and very anxious in social situations. That's probably why Lana is the one that first approached Kat in chemistry class. After that, they became the best of friends. An odd couple those two. Such a shy girl best friends with the popular cheerleader.   
Lana could easily get anyone she wanted, but Kat was confused as to why her. Lana was absolutely gorgeous. She had tan skin with lots of little freckles some long flowy, wavy, brown hair; big bright blue eyes. She was extremely fit—she was a cheerleader after all. She had a beautiful and elegant hourglass figure that drove guys and girls alike crazy. Lana was the absolute definition of perfection. Kat swore that if you looked up perfect on Wikipedia a picture of Lana would show up.   
Kat didn't have any of that. She had pasty white skin, short choppy hair that no matter how much she brushed it always looked like a mess. She had nice eyes but not as beautiful as Lana’s. She was smart, a straight-A student—so was Lana. Unlike Lana, Kat was absolutely the opposite of fit. She was actually pretty chubby. She felt like she was only gaining weight as well.   
Kat felt loved by Lana but that didn't stop her from having her insecurities. It all started going downhill when they went to a pride event for a date. They walked hand in hand, Kat talking about her favorite cryptids after having bought a patch that said ‘Nessie’s girl” with the loch ness monster in the middle. Kat had been ranting about how there was tons of evidence that Nessie was real.   
“There are tons of pictures! Some are dated back a long time ago—back when special effects weren’t really a thing,” Kat slowly realized she was ranting and that Lana probably didn't care, “I’m sorry for ranting, I just love Nessie y’kno-“ Kat turned to face Lana and caught her winking at a girl that was dressed head to toe in rainbow. The girl was positively beautiful; blonde hair, seemed natural, blue eyes and an hourglass figure almost as good as Lana’s. Kat was silent for a few seconds, shocked.  
“Keep going, Kitty—I’m listening. I like it when you rant. You’re so cute when you’re passionate about something.” Lana said, finally turning to look at Kat, who started to blush at the compliment. Kat nodded slowly and looked away, in embarrassment.  
“R-right, like I was saying, special effects didn't really exist when Nessie was first seen…”  
Kat forgot about what she had caught Lana doing momentarily. Through the rest of the day, she didn't think about it. When she got home, she thought about her date. She happily hummed a soft tune whilst brushing her hair, thinking about her time with Lana, then abruptly stopped remembering Lana winking at another girl. She looked at herself in the full-length mirror she had in her room. She wasn't much compared to that girl. That girl was absolutely gorgeous, then there was Kat. Lana could easily get someone like that girl. Someone better than Kat. Kat found herself putting her hand on her stomach. Muffin top popping out thanks to her tight jeans.  
“Kat! It’s time for dinner! Pasta night!” Shiro said. Shiro was Kats older sister and legal guardian. Kat thought for a second.  
“I-I’m not hungry!”  
“Did you eat dinner with Lana?!” Kat hesitated for a second. She didn't like lying to Shiro but she couldn’t help it as the white lie slipped out.  
“Yeah!”  
“Alright! You can take some to school tomorrow and eat lunch!”  
“Okay!”  
The conversation ended there. Kat going to sleep, hungry. The next morning, she realized she was being stupid. She ate all of her breakfast, trying to make up for the lost meal. Everything was fine for a while. Kat and Lana were as good as ever.   
About a week later, Lana and Kat were having a date in a cute little bakery close to their school. Lana ordered a coffee and a chocolate muffin, she told Kat to eat whatever she wanted. Kat studied all the sweets, having a difficulty in choosing. She was tied between two; a slice chocolate cake or a slice of apple pie. Lana suggested that she got both, she was paying after all and didn't mind spoiling her girlfriend rotten. Kat did not have a problem with that, she was really craving sweets since she was her ‘time of the month’, Lana knew this as well and totally wanted her girlfriend to indulge. Along with the two slices, she got a hot chocolate.   
Once given the sweets and drinks, they sat at a table near a window. Kat scarfed down her sweets happily. The only things in Kats mind were how good the sweets were and how Lana was the best girlfriend ever. Lana was just finishing her muffin as Kat was halfway through her slice of cake, the pie completely gone. Lana looked at Kat, amused. Kat noticed and arched an eyebrow.  
“What?” Kat said, covering her mouthful of cake with her hand to talk.  
“You really eat a lot, don't you?” Lana said, in a loving tone—which went right over Kats' head. Kat swallowed, feeling strangely emotional over a stupid statement.  
“I guess…” Kat said bashfully—the reason for the bashfulness also slipping right over Lana’s head, making her think how adorable her girlfriend was.  
“I should take you out to eat more often then,” Lana muttered to herself.  
Kat didn't hear that still feeling self-conscious about Lana’s comment. Even though she wanted to keep eating her cake; she told Lana she was full. Lana simply raised her eyebrow expectantly—maybe she was going to change her mind—when Kat didn't say anything, she threw away the remnants of the cake along with their cups.   
The ride to Kats apartment was strangely quiet. Kat was a quiet person but she became comfortable with Lana long ago and would talk with her a lot. Kat loved talking to Lana whilst Lana drove, Lana loved it as well, enjoying learning new things about her girlfriend every day. Lana didn’t question it, she simply thought Kat was tired. Really, Kat was trying to hold back tears. She didn't know why she was worked up over something so stupid. Something so small. When they arrived, Kat managed to say a small goodbye, before running off so that Lana didn't walk her to her apartment.   
She ran up the stairs, rather than the elevator, she lived on the 3rd floor and felt winded when she made it to her floor. God, she thought, I’m so out of shape I can’t even go up a few flights of stairs. She felt a few tears slip out. She wiped her tears quickly and entered her apartment.  
“Shiro?” she called, maybe she could help? “Shir-” she was about to call again and noticed a post-it note on the fridge. ‘I’m out with Allura and Mattilde, sorry I can’t eat dinner with you, it was last minute.’ Kat frowned at this. Then she felt bad for being upset. Shiro had friends and a life outside of Kat.  
Kat made her way over to her room. She let her tears flow, knowing that she was alone. She began to change into her pajamas—she would shower in the morning—she caught a glimpse of her reflection. She frowned, she had to be gaining weight. The worst part was that Lana noticed too. Actually, Lana didn’t care, she loved to cuddle with Kat, she was soft everywhere and she loved it. No matter where Lana decided to lay her head—on her stomach, her legs, her chest—Kat was soft and Lana couldn’t ask for a better cuddle buddy. Lana thought that she was quite bony so she didn't think she was any good for cuddles, Kat and her balanced each other out.  
Kat felt her tears multiply. She convinced herself she was gaining weight, even though she was only a bit bloated because of her period. She went over to the bathroom. She looked at her tear stained face in the mirror, then she looked down at her figure. She looked for something, she didn’t know what but she still did it. Then she found it. Her toothbrush. She took it and observed it for a few seconds. She didn't know what she was doing until she kneeled next to her toilet. With the help of the toothbrush, she flushed away her worries, if only for a few minutes.

~~  
This past month, Kat had been weird. She was different. Lana noticed. She was a lot shorter tempered and tired. Lana thought maybe she was stressing out about school and not getting enough sleep. Lana wanted to do whatever was possible to make her girlfriend feel better. She thought maybe a sleepover would make her feel better. She was writing down ways to make Kat feel better on her history notebook. She got a bit side-tracked, writing hearts on the margins. She began to think about variations of ‘Katherine Shirogane-McClain’ or ‘Lana McClain-Shirogane’. But, she thought, if I take her name then I’d probably have to give up my mom’s Sanchez and I don't want that. She was snapped out of her thoughts when someone pinched her.  
“Ow!” she said, looking over to her best friend (right after Kat).  
“The teacher just asked you something,” muttered Hannah, who was nicknamed Honey by everyone.  
“Oh…umm,”  
“Third president of the U.S.” Honey clarified.  
“Thomas Jefferson?” the teacher’s eyes widened.  
“Hmph, correct, McClain. I better not see you slacking off again.” The teacher said, returning to the lesson.  
“What are you doing?”  
“Kat’s been down in the dumps so I’m crafting the perfect date to make her feel better.” Honey laughed a bit.  
“You really are long gone.” Lana blushed.  
“Shut up!” Lana said, looking away in embarrassment.  
“Have you told her yet?”  
“N-no.”  
“Well then, maybe you should. I’m surer that would make her happy.” Lana thought for a moment. It probably would make Kat happy.  
“But what if she doesn’t feel the same way? I’ll just embarrass myself.”  
“No, you won’t. You’ve got to be blind not to realize she feels the same for you. Well, then again this is coming from the couple that took 6 months to get together.”  
“Hey!”  
“You two are more oblivious than anyone else I know.”  
“I-I’ll think about it.”  
After class Lana looked for Kat. Which was strangely hard. She wasn't at her own locker or at Lana’s or Pidges or any lockers really. She wasn't in her last class’ room. She was running out of options until she walked by the women’s bathroom. Kat left just as Lana walked by, making them almost bump into each other. Lana smiled but the smile faltered as she saw Kat’s tired expression, just now noticing she must’ve been eating less since she looked like she’d lost a few pounds.   
“Are you okay, Kit Kat?” Lana said, eyebrows furrowed in concern.  
“Yeah,” Kat said, her voice a bit gravely, “Just a sore throat.”  
“Okay…” Lana said, even though she was a bit skeptical, “I was wondering if you had anything going on tomorrow, Saturday? I was hoping we could have a sleepover at my house today. My mom works all night so we’ll be alone,” Lana said wiggling her eyebrows, even though she didn't actually plan on doing anything that that may insinuate. Kat blushed and rolled her eyes, a small smile playing on her lips.  
“Sure. You’ll pick me up, right?”  
“Of course. How about at 6?”  
“Yeah.”  
“See you in a few, gorgeous,” Lana said as she dialed her mom’s number to ask if she could have Kat over. Her mom would say yes but she still had the courtesy to ask. Kat felt herself blush profusely at the pet name as Lana walked away.  
It was 5:30 pm. Kat was finishing her backpack for the sleepover. She noticed that her jeans were getting baggy on her. She felt a surge of pride that was quickly replaced with guilt. She walked over to her mirror. She lifted the oversized shirt she wore. Whenever she breathed in and her lungs expanded, she could see her ribs starting to poke out. That’d never happened before. Then her eyes moved over to her hips. A bit slim, she thought, but not that slim; I can do better, like Lana. She was almost proud that she’d lost weight but felt guilty because of the way she did it. The guilt slipped away quickly once she remembered the things that had happened these few months. Lana checking out other girls. Lana saying that she ate a lot— ‘obviously’ insinuating that she was fat. Besides, Lana had to have noticed that she was losing weight, right? She just called her gorgeous today. How would she feel, thought Kat, if she found out how I lost all this weight? She didn't have time to think about that as Shiro called her to say Lana was here, making her quickly drop her shirt and look for some sweatpants to substitute the jeans.  
As Kat made her way out, she noticed Lana at the end of the hallway. She was texting someone, Kat didn't get the chance to read the name but noticed a blue heart emoji next to the name. Her thoughts quickly started racing. She should’ve known. Of course, Lana would cheat on her—hell, she couldn't even blame her. There were so many people better than Kat that Lana could easily get. Kat noticed a small blush on Lana’s face as she read the new text she received. Kat felt like crying but was too drained to do so, seeing as she hadn’t eaten much today. She was about to turn around when Shiro spotted her.  
“There she is! My favorite little sister.”  
“I’m your only sister.”  
“Anyways, I needed to talk to you guys.”  
“What’s up?” said Lana, putting away her phone.  
“So, it has come to my attention that Lana’s mom will not be supervising your sleepover.”  
“Yeah but, were practically adults. Kat is 18 and I’m 17; we can take care of ourselves.”  
“I know, and I fully respect that but; you are going to be alone, right?”  
“Umm…yes. Except for Pollo, he’s gonna be there.”  
“Yeah, but a dog won’t stop you from doing…inappropriate things.”  
“What? Shiro! Shut up!” Kat said, realizing exactly what Shiro was saying. “We aren’t gonna do that!”  
“Yeah! We were going to watch some movies and cuddle! What do you think we are? Animals?”  
“Okay, sorry, fine. I’m just watching out for you. Go have fun—but not too much fun.”  
“Whatever, Shiro. Bye.”  
“Bye!” 

~~  
“O-Oh my god, Kat!”  
“Lana!”  
“Stop, it’s too much!”  
“Are you sure?”  
“It says one cup of flour, not one and a half! You’re supposed to shake the excess off!”  
“Sorry.”  
“It’s fine, let’s see what we can do now…” they were trying to bake cookies but they kept messing up, mainly Kat but Lana messed up too a few times. Lana used the measuring cup to scoop out some of the excess flour. “There that’s better.”  
“What now?”  
“We need to mix it up and put them in the oven.”  
“Okay, should I get the pan?”  
“Yeah, butter it up while you’re at it so they won’t stick.”  
Kat did as told, and got the pan and the butter. As she buttered up the pan, her gaze ventured over to Lana. She was mixing the batter and swaying her hips to the music they had in the background. Girls/Girls/Boys by Panic! At the disco. It reminded her that unlike herself, Lana did actually like boys as well. She could get any girl or boy that she wanted, yet she chose Kat. It made her feel happy that Lana chose her but confused as to why. Kat wasn’t much compared to her. The person she had been texting had been her mom, which made Kat feel stupid. Lana would never cheat, she’s not like that. But Kat knew that if she had enough malice in her she had the ability to. Kat could probably not get anyone to spare a second glance.  
They finished up the cookies. After cooling, they ate the cookies whilst watching a show on Netflix called Big Mouth. It had both of them dying of laughter. Lana reached over to grab a cookie only to realize they were gone. There had been a total of 12 cookies, Lana had only eaten 5.  
“Hey, you ate my cookie!”  
“What?”  
“I thought we were going to split them evenly? You ate 7 and I ate 5.”  
“S-sorry,” said Kat, feeling self-conscious about how she ate more than Lana.  
“It’s okay, you could’ve eaten all my cookies and I couldn’t get mad at you,” Lana said and was about to lean in for a kiss when Kat got up.  
“I’m going to the bathroom,” Kat said tugging at the hem of her shirt.  
“Oh, umm okay. I’m not stopping you, have fun.” Lana said, winking at that last part, but Kat missed it and ran off to the nearest bathroom.  
She quickly went to Lana’s room to get her toothbrush and ran over to the bathroom, not bothering to lock the door, she felt tears start spilling. Tears of sadness mixed with guilt. She knew that what she was doing was bad for her but she couldn’t stop. She needed to get it out of her system. She stared at her reflection in the mirror. The same thoughts went through her head as always. Ugly, fat, not good enough. She felt her tears multiply as she went over to lean on the toilet.  
Lana was worried. Kat hadn’t come back from the bathroom in 5 minutes. No one takes 5 minutes in the bathroom. She got up and went over to the nearest bathroom, where she assumed Kat would be. As she approached, she realized she might be pooping or something and she was stupid to be so worried. But then she heard it; a small choked out sob, followed by a small bit of gagging. She was quickly right at the door, her ear against it, making sure she wasn’t imagining things. She heard it again, much more clear now; sobbing.  
“Kat? Kitty? Are you okay?” She said knocking. She heard the sobbing stop abruptly and Kat clear her throat.  
“Yeah,” Kat said, voice hoarse, “I’m fine.”  
“You don't sound fine.”  
“I am fine!”  
“So you don’t mind it if I come in?”  
“No, don't co-” Kat started but was cut off by Lana opening the door. Lana immediately winced at the sight. Kat’s face was covered in tear stains, she had saliva dripping from her lip that she attempted to clean up with her sleeve, only making it worse as Lana saw vomit staining her sleeve. Lana felt like crying. She could barely believe her eyes.   
“Oh, Kat,” Lana said going over to her love. She wrapped her arms around Kat and pulled her into her lap. She began rocking her back and forth as Kat started sobbing again. They sat like that for a few minutes, the only sound being Kat’s sobs as Lana ran her hands through her hair.  
“I-I’m sorry.” Said Kat, once her crying subsided a bit.  
“About what? You have nothing to be sorry about.”  
“I’m sorry you had to see that. You weren’t meant to see that. I’m sorry that I’m not good enough, Lana. I’m so-“  
“Who told you that you weren’t good enough?”  
“I-“  
“No one. And if someone did, tell me so I can kick their ass.”  
“But—you said it. Don't you remember at the bakery by the school? You said that I ate a lot.”  
“And you do. What’s so bad about that? I love you no matter what,” Kat’s eye widened at the words, “I love you for your love of cryptids, I love you for your love of food, I love you because of your cute face, I love you because of your perfect body,” Lana said squeezing Kat tighter, “I love you, Kat. I’m so sorry if I ever made you feel otherwise.”  
“I-I love you too.”  
“I love you more, gorgeous,” Lana said and wiped a few stray tears from Kats face.  
“B-but, I don't get it. What do you see in me? Lana, you are absolutely beautiful. You’re outgoing and smart and popular but you settled for me when you can have anyone you want in the whole world?”  
“Because you’re even more beautiful than me.”  
“No, I’m not.”  
“Yes, you are,” Lana said, getting up and helping Kat up as well. She stood in front of the mirror with Lana. “You see this hair?” she said, running her hands through her hair, “It’s perfect, its soft and it does perfect contrast with your pale skin. Your skin is absolutely flawless—look at that, not a single scar or blemish—supper soft,” she said, caressing Kats cheek, “Your eyes, Kat. They are amazing. They are such a beautiful color, with gray and blue and even purple—I swear I can see my whole universe in those eyes. Your hips, oh my god. Your body, I mean, look at you! You’ve lost some weight but guess what? No matter how much or how little you weigh I will always absolutely love your body. Your body is one of a goddess. Oh and your boobs—god I love your boobs and ass—I’m gonna stop right there before I embarrass myself and say something weird like I want you to crush me with your thighs or something like that.” Kat blushed, “But really. When I say you are perfect. I mean it, gorgeous. The list goes on forever, I could make a list and I would never finish because the reasons are endless.”   
“Thank you, Lana. You are the best.”  
“Anything for you,” Lana said, as Kat turned around and leaned in for a kiss.

**Author's Note:**

> angst yay  
> feedback is my kink


End file.
